We are All in Constant Growth,
Rosa had just turned twenty years old ten days ago and was having a rough start to this new decade of her life. Although the beauty in her skin carried no flaws, on the inside she felt tired and old – stuck in a place that she just couldn’t seem to get out of. Her past was full of colourless moments, too opaque for Rosa to see the underlying light beneath their surfaces. Rosa had grown tired of this existence, and was anxious, in desperate need of a transformation that would destroy the very roots of her present mind state. And so, before going to bed on her tenth day of being twenty, Rosa took a deep breath and got a strange sensation right between her ribs, there must be more. In that moment, Rosa promised to love her self, in all ways, in every moment, and with every breath.
On her eleventh day of being twenty, Rosa woke up feeling much lighter then usual. She hopped out of bed with a new-found energy and warmth to start her day, but as Rosa undressed to take a shower all of that was gone at the sight of an unexpected transformation. Her honey brown, smooth back was turning green along her spine. Terrified with what was happening to her, Rosa went to her bed; comforted by the warm rays of the sun coming in through her window she went to sleep with hopes of waking up from this dream. On her twelfth day of being twenty, Rosa awoke again. She fretfully looked at herself and to her despair she was turning green! Her arms were now deep green leafs opening to the energy of the light. Her feet were tingling roots, waiting, just waiting to absorb the sweet water of Earth. And her hair had turned into a crown resembling the beautiful purple petals of a lotus flower. Rosa detested her new self. She looked in the mirror and saw a freak. Her human beauty, the one thing she liked about herself was destroyed. She began crying and screaming out, “I hate my life! I hate my self.”
Just as Rosa uttered those words, she began changing back to her old self. All of her old self. Her beauty was back, but so was her exhaustion and her internal scars which weighed down her very existence. Rosa looked at her self in the mirror adoringly as she saw her flesh was returned back to her old beautiful self. She looked at her lips, pink and full, her nose, a perfect button and just as she looked into her eyes she began feeling ugly again. Worse than she had felt a few moments ago when her skin was green! Rosa had no idea what was missing; she was beautiful again, the one thing that kept her going despite her darkness. She stared into her eyes and saw a deep emptiness that made her feel like she had nothing, she was nothing.
Rosa began to cry again, and this time, as the tears flowed, he emptiness in her eyes disappeared. She felt lighter and lighter, as if all of her past troubles were flowing out of her. And then, a single warm tear drop landed on her left baby toe and she began changing back into the Lotus. “No, no, no, no NO,” screamed Rosa. And as she got up to look at her self again, she looked into her eyes and saw the most subtle but refreshing beauty that she never believed existed inside of her. Rosa touched her hair and felt the softest flower petals that were now apart of her. She lengthened out her stem which took the place of her spine and she stood with confidence and self love. Rosa’s past was let out of her body through her salt water tears, and all the self blame she had for her self was used as the very water she needed to grow. Rosa loved her self, and in that moment she promised to never stop. Rosa was a Lotus. Gods perfect creation. A beautiful flower, birthed from the muddiest conditions.
Harminder Multani | 21 year old Writer, Visualist and Student from Toronto using art to grow and show the world the beauty in peace.